悔remorse与恨regret的区别

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钱钟书说：“恨者，本欲为而终憾未能为（regret）；悔者，夙已为而今宁愿不为（remorse）。”由此可见，即使在汉语中，常见词语“悔恨”也是包含着两个不同意思的。恨指想做而没有做的事儿，而悔则指做过但是希望没有做过的事儿。英文中有关悔恨的常用词就包括remorse与regret，似乎也有类似区别，即使以英语为母语的人也不见得都能区分清楚。

在古汉语中，“恨”与“憾”往往通用。所以，悔恨一词的“恨”应为“遗憾”之意。这正是英文词regret的常用意义。它表示对事件的无法预料的、并非故意的、常常是代价高昂的后果的理性反应。它往往是不涉及道德的（amoral）。【Regret is a rational, intelligent and, on occasion, emotional reaction to some unexpected, unintended and often costly consequence of some event or action. 】例如，航空公司对因为天气原因取消航班表示regret。下面是更多具体例子。

"I"d rather regret the things I have done than the things that I haven"t ." Lucille Ball

"A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams." John Barrymore

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." Alexander Graham Bell

"I have no regrets. I wouldn"t have lived my life the way I did if I was going to worry about what people were going to say." Ingrid Bergman

"Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you"ll regret the things you didn"t do more than the ones you did." H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sydney J. Harris

"Forget regret, or life is yours to miss." Jonathan Larson

"Make it a rule in life never to regret and never look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can"t build on it; it is good only for wallowing in." Katherine Mansfield

"Regrets are idle; yet history is one long regret. Everything might have turned out so differently."
Charles Dudley Warner

"I have no apologies, no regrets. I gave my very best efforts.... I"ve been hung in effigy. I"ve been spat upon. You just have to let those things bounce off ."
William Westmoreland

Remorse则表达对个人罪过、社会性耻辱、羞辱、反感以及愤怒的强烈的个人情绪反应【Remorse, on the other hand, takes on a bitter, deeper form that elicits much stronger personal and emotional reactions to personal guilt, societal shame, humiliation, resentment and often anger. 】下面是更多例子。

"Remorse is the punishment of crime; repentance, its expiation. The former appertains to a tormented conscience; the latter to a soul changed for the better." Joseph Joubert

"Prefer loss to the wealth of dishonest gain. The former vexes you for a time the latter will bring you lasting remorse ." Chilo
"Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she"s thought much worse things about you. " Jean Rostand

"Total self-esteem requires total and unconditional acceptance of yourself. You are a unique and worthy individual, regardless of your mistakes, defeats and failures, despite what others may think, say or feel about you or your behavior. If you truly accept and love yourself, you won"t have a driving need for attention and approval. Self-esteem is a genuine love of self. Stop all adverse value judging of yourself. Stop accepting the adverse value judgments of others. Purge yourself of all condemnation, shame, blame, guilt & remorse." Unknown

"Remorse: beholding heaven and feeling hell." George Moore

"The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power." Mary Bertone

"Remorse goes to sleep during a prosperous period and wakes up in adversity." Jean-Jacques Rousseau

"Remorse is the pain of sin." Theodore Parker 更多信息请访问：http://www.24en.com/

"Remorse is virtue"s root; its fair increase are fruits of innocence and blessedness." William C. Bryant

也可以说，regret侧重的是结果的好坏（good vs. bad consequences），而remorse侧重的是行为的对错（right vs. wrong actions）。但在实际应用中，具体的含义要看上下文，因为很多人并不严格区分两者的细微差别。