寂寞

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夜里，独自抱膝坐在窗前，下巴懒懒地放在膝盖上，窗外的栏杆上爬满了青藤，风过，树叶沙沙作响。四周很安静，窗外的虫鸣很好听，高高低低、曲曲折折、若有若无，象一曲佛音。静静地听上一段时间，悲也放下，喜也放下，只剩下单纯的寂寞在心底密密地酝酿。

The other night I sat alone by the window, my arms wrapping around my shins, my chin resting sluggishly on my knees. Greenvines sprawled over the rails out the window. A breeze sprang up and tree leaves started to rustle. It was crisp and quiet all about, except for insects chirping, which was like a Buddhist music, near and far, loud and vague. I listened a while and felt sad no more, ecstatic no more. There was left in me but solitude, which was piling at the bottom of my heart.

就这样呆呆地在窗前坐了一个多小时，仿佛冰川时代遗留下的一方顽石。想一想，两年来经历了多少事情？记不清了，太多的生活细节在脑子里缠绕，却不能想起一件完整的事情，只是在心里不停地问自己“怎样才可以幸福？”。然而一个蠢笨的女人，往往穷一生心血，也难以企及灵魂深处的渴望，想来想去，直到想得疲惫不堪。一切都应放下了，只该留给自己寂寞。
Over one hour I remained seated at the window like a stone from the ice age, my mind blank. I contemplated the two years that had just drifted by. What did I do? No clue.There were too many chores lingering in my mind, and not asingle complete one could I recollect. "What on earth does it take for happiness and contentment?"I kept asking myself. But a foolish woman would hardly getclose to the yearning from deep inside, even though she never stops trying hard throughout her life. I thought and thought, until fatigue got the better of me.No oppression should be kept, except solitude.

这样一个甜美的凌晨，我没有沉浸在梦乡，却把自己沉入了寂寞的深潭
Such a beautiful dawn did not see me in sweet dreams. I trapped myself in the deep, desolate pool of solitude.

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