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【寂寞烟火】寂寞

来源:佳作欣赏 时间:2019-05-15 点击:

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夜里,独自抱膝坐在窗前,下巴懒懒地放在膝盖上,窗外的栏杆上爬满了青藤,风过,树叶沙沙作响。四周很安静,窗外的虫鸣很好听,高高低低、曲曲折折、若有若无,象一曲佛音。静静地听上一段时间,悲也放下,喜也放下,只剩下单纯的寂寞在心底密密地酝酿。

The other night I sat alone by the window, my arms wrapping around my shins, my chin resting sluggishly on my knees. Greenvines sprawled over the rails out the window. A breeze sprang up and tree leaves started to rustle. It was crisp and quiet all about, except for insects chirping, which was like a Buddhist music, near and far, loud and vague.  I listened a while and felt sad no more, ecstatic no more.  There was left in me but solitude, which was piling at the bottom of my heart.

就这样呆呆地在窗前坐了一个多小时,仿佛冰川时代遗留下的一方顽石。想一想,两年来经历了多少事情?记不清了,太多的生活细节在脑子里缠绕,却不能想起一件完整的事情,只是在心里不停地问自己“怎样才可以幸福?”。然而一个蠢笨的女人,往往穷一生心血,也难以企及灵魂深处的渴望,想来想去,直到想得疲惫不堪。一切都应放下了,只该留给自己寂寞。
Over one hour I remained seated at the window like a stone from the ice age, my mind blank.  I contemplated the two years that had just drifted by.  What did I do?  No clue.There were too many chores lingering in my mind, and not asingle complete one could I recollect. "What on earth does it take for happiness and contentment?"I kept asking myself. But a foolish woman would hardly getclose to the yearning from deep inside, even though she never stops trying hard throughout her life. I thought and thought, until fatigue got the better of me.No oppression should be kept, except solitude.

这样一个甜美的凌晨,我没有沉浸在梦乡,却把自己沉入了寂寞的深潭
Such a beautiful dawn did not see me in sweet dreams.  I trapped myself in the deep, desolate pool of solitude.

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