我的妻子，你的丈夫?

爱思英语编者按：男大当婚，女大当嫁，这是中国的传统文化观念。这对于在大多数人眼里还是个神秘群体的同性恋者(homosexual)来说，亦是如此。迫于父母的压力，不少同性恋者选择异性婚姻，或者同异性的同性恋者缔结“互助婚姻”，以掩盖自己的性取向。他们究竟生活得如何呢？

现年32岁的张娜娜（化名）就职于北京一家杂志社，她和家中58岁的父母正面临着一场家庭危机。 Zhang Nana (not her real name), a 32-year-old working for a Beijing-based magazine, and her 58-year-old parents are caught in a crisis that threatens to tear apart the family.

但就在2006年10月份张娜娜同长相不错的31岁大学讲 师王先生结婚时，二老还协同100多位亲友一同出席婚宴。 But it was only in October 2006 that her parents attended the banquet that gathered together more than 100 relatives and friends, to celebrate their daughter"s marriage to a good-looking, 31-year-old university lecturer surnamed Wang.

三年后，这对夫妻离婚了。而张娜娜向父母交代的理由使得这原本充满温馨和欢笑的一家陷入沮丧和痛苦中。她最终给出的理由是：她是同性恋者。 Three years later, the couple divorced. The reason that Zhang gave her parents has plunged a home filled with warmth and laughter into distress and agony. She finally told them: She is a homosexual.

她的妈妈质问道：“你为什么要辜负我？” "Why are you failing me?" questions her mother.

两位老人痛哭流涕，心中充满怀疑与失望。他们问道：“你就不能试着改变吗？” "Can you not try and change?" they ask, worn out by their crying, disbelief and disappointment.

尽管从2001年起，中国不再把同性恋划定为精神疾病。但包括张娜娜父母在内的许多人依旧将其视为可以纠正的“变态”行为。 Although China removed homosexuality from its list of mental illnesses in 2001, people like Zhang"s parents continue to see it as an abnormity that can be corrected.

张娜娜反驳说：“怎么可能呢？” "How can I?" counters Zhang.

“我还没有告诉他们，我从2004年时起就已经开始和同性伴侣一起生活了。” "I haven"t told them that I"ve been living with my female partner since 2004.

“他们坚信我是因为异性婚姻触礁，所以才堕落到去选择一段同性恋情。但是王先生也是同性恋者。” "They believe I"ve "degenerated" into same-sex love because of troubles in the marriage. But Wang, too, is gay. "

她还表示：“我们的婚姻从一开始就是为了掩饰。” "Our marriage was a cover from the very beginning," she adds.

张娜娜的同性恋人是29岁的沈兰（化名），也正是她婚礼上的伴娘。 Zhang shares a loving relationship with Shenlan (not her real name), 29, who was a bridesmaid at her wedding.

张娜娜与沈兰是在北京望京地区合租住房时结识的。因为清楚双方父母不可能理解或接受她们的关系，她们一直对外保密。 They discovered one another while co-renting an apartment in the capital"s Wangjing area. Knowing that their parents would never be able to understand or accept their love, they kept their relationship secret.

随着对沈兰的爱越来越深，她开始考虑未来。“我意识到迟早都要完成父母的心愿。” As her love for Shenlan deepened, she began to think of the future. "I realized that sooner or later, I would have to react to my parents" expectations."

在女同性恋网络社区的论坛上看到别人的故事后，张娜娜和沈兰决定寻找一对男同性恋伴侣组成“互助婚姻”。 It was while trawling the online lesbian-community forums and reading of the personal experiences of other homosexuals, that Zhang and her partner decided to look for a gay couple "so we could help one another".

2006年初，张娜娜和沈兰与王先生和连先生（双方不愿透露名字）见了面。基于双方相互留下的初步印象良好，加上来自各自父母的压力与日俱增，张娜娜与王先生与当年5月份登记结婚。 In early 2006, Zhang and Shenlan met Wang and Lian (They would not give their full names). Based on favorable first impressions, and the intense pressure for marriage by both Zhang"s and Wang"s parents, the two registered their marriage in May.

起初一切都很顺利。但渐渐地，她发现 王先生并不是非常愿意以“丈夫”或“女婿”的身份配合她。夫妻间的“合作”终止后，张娜娜借机向父母坦白。 At first, everything went smoothly. But gradually she felt Wang was not playing his part as a supportive "husband", or a dutiful son-in-law. Their collaboration ended and Zhang saw a chance to come clean with her parents.

她说：“我已经厌倦了冲他们撒谎。” "I was sick of lying to them," she says.

《中国法视野下的同性恋》作者，中国政法大学法学院讲师郭晓飞表示，在一个同性婚姻或恋情不合法的国家，为了应对压力，同性恋者选择了假结婚。 Guo Xiaofei, law school lecturer at China University of Political Science and Law, and author of Homosexuality in the Prospective of Chinese Law, says that in a country where same-sex marriage/partnership is not legal, a sham marriage is the gay community"s creative response to the pressure to conform.

在2006年《广州日报》的一则专访中，中国社科院知名社会学者和性学专家李银河表示，中国的同性恋者人数可能在3900万至5200万之间，其中90%的人会选择异性婚姻。 In a 2006 interview with Guangzhou Daily, leading sociologist and sexologist Li Yinhe of the China Academy of Social Sciences said， 90 percent of the country"s homosexuals, with an estimated population of 39-52 million, are trapped in marriages with straight partners.

大学讲师郭晓飞说，张娜娜的选择凸显出中国女性社会和经济地位的变化，也显示一些同性恋者对于性倾向的自我认同正变得越来越自信。 University lecturer Guo says Zhang"s decision also reflects the growing economic and social status of Chinese women, and the increasing confidence with which homosexuals are approaching their sexual identity.

张娜娜仍旧等待着能够与家人和好。 Zhang is still waiting to reconcile with her family.

她说：“我愿意邀请我的父母来我们的住处，看看我的生活状态以及与沈兰间的相处。但到目前为止，我几乎未取得任何进展。” "I would love to invite my mom and dad to our place to see how I"m living and how I get along with Shenlan," she says. "But so far, I have made little progress."

(Translator & Editor: 21英语 Aaron AND Lily