异地恋：你还能撑多久？

爱思英语编者按：恋爱中的情侣恨不得每天都粘在一起，寒冷的时候有个怀抱，孤独的时候有个陪伴。虽然说，距离产生美，但对于异地恋情(long-distance relationship)而言，距离往往会成为一种考验。一首歌中曾唱道： “距离是一份考卷，测量相爱的誓言，最后会不会实现。”
 

随着交通设施和通讯手段变得更为便利快捷，异地恋在中国变得越来越普遍。《中国青年报》最近的一项调查显示，在2148名高校受访者中，有61.7%的人表示，身边很多同学或朋友都想一毕业就和异地恋人分手；32.7％的人表示身边有一些朋友是这种状况，而表示身边很少有人这样做的仅占4．7％。
Long-distance relationships are becoming more common in China today, as transportation and communication becomes easier and faster. According to a recent survey carried out by China Youth Daily, 61.7 percent of 2,149 university-aged respondents said many of their friends or classmates in long-distance relationships planned to end them when they graduate, 32.7 percent said they had at least some friends in this situation and only 4.7 percent said they only knew a few people like that.

南京某报纸曾展开一项“异地恋调查”，结果显示近半数的异地恋情侣年龄小于30岁，他们中大部分人正在读大学或刚刚参加工作。
A "long-distance relationship investigation" by a newspaper in Nanjing reported that half the couples in such relationships are under the age of 30, and that most were in college or at the beginning stages of their career.

这些情侣之所以分隔两地，只要是因为海外求学（占受访者人数的35%）以及异地工作（占受访者人数的43%）。
The main reasons the couples were separated were overseas education (35 percent of respondents) and different job locations (43 percent of respondents).

在讨论异地恋的在社区www.yidilian.com上，近半数成员表示，由于另一半正在海外求学，所以导致自己身处异地恋中。
On www.yidilian.com, an online forum dedicated to long-distance relationships, nearly 50 percent of the forum members said they are in such relationships because their boyfriends or girlfriends are studying in another country.

北京人严华（音译）于去年嫁给了一位美国人；婚前，她同未婚夫曾维持了三年的异地恋情。 更多信息请访问：http://www.24en.com/
Yan Hua, a Beijing woman who married an American man last year, had a long-distance relationship with her future husband for three years before they married.

他们是在好友的婚礼上结识的。由于男方在美国工作，而严华的工作地点则在北京，他们大都通过MSN和电话来联络。严华说：“我们之间有一条雷打不动的规定，那就是无论什么情况，我们每天中午都会在MSN上交谈。” They met each other at a mutual friend"s wedding. Since the man worked in the US and Yan worked in Beijing, they mainly communicate through MSN and phone calls.

她说他们的恋情能够坚持下来，这都要归功于她和未婚夫对于未来的那份信念。在他们长达三年的爱情长跑中，严华的未婚夫只来过四次中国，这其中包括他们在那场婚礼上的初次相识。
She said their relationship persevered because both she and her future husband believed it had a future. During their three-year courtship, Yan"s future husband came to China just four times, including their initial meeting at the wedding.

严华说：“拥有共同目标这十分重要。在网上约会了一段时间后，我便开始申请美国的大学。所以我们清楚彼此会在某一时刻相聚的。” "Having the same goals is important. I started to apply to American universities after we dated each other online for a while. So we know we were going to be together at some point," said Yan.

2008年时，严华成功申请了一所美国大学，并与当年夏季赴美留学。他们在美国共同度过了一年的时光，并于去年决定结婚。严华毕业后，在住处附近的一家小公司找到了一份工作，现在他们打算要一个宝宝。
In 2008, Yan successfully applied to a US college and went there in the summer. They spent one year together in the US and then decided to marry last year. Yan graduated, found work at a small company near their home and they are now starting a family.

段凤（音译）毕业于北京交通大学，她和男友在一起已经有三年时间了，但今年九月她的男友将去加拿大求学。她则选择继续留校攻读硕士学位。 Duan Feng, a graduate of Beijing Jiaotong University has had a boyfriend for three years, but this September her boyfriend will leave for Canada to study. She will remain in school here in China studying for her master"s degree.

“一想到即将同他分开，我就感到焦躁不安。我们携手度过了这三年中的大多数时光。他已经成为我生活的一部分。但我相信我们的前景是光明的。他答应我，一毕业他就会回来。两年时间不长也不短。”段凤说。
"I feel nervous that I am going be apart from him. We stayed together for most of the past three years. He has become part of my life," said Duan. "But I believe that we will have a future. He promised me that he will come back after graduation. Two years is not a long time but it is not short either."

交友网站“世纪佳缘”曾发起一项在线调查，询问受访者对异地恋有否有信心。48.65%的男性受访者表示自己有信心，然而女性受访者中这一比例不到20%。
In an online survey on a dating website, www.jiayuan.com, which asked respondents if they had confidence in their long-distance relationships, 48.65 percent of male respondents said they did, while fewer than 20 percent of female respondents said so.

一些受访者表示分隔两地，再加上交通费以及通讯费这些成本，正好可以检验恋情的可靠度。
Some respondents said being separated by long distances was a good test of the relationship"s seriousness, given the expenses involved in transportation and communications.

浙江大学著名心理学家姜乾金表示：“即使是在当下，无论交通和通讯设施如何发达，异地恋情仍然充满未知数。异地恋人们不是过于理想化，就是忽略了现实状况。”
"Long-distance love is full of risks even today, no matter how developed transportation and telecommunication devices have become. Those who suffer a long-distance relationship do it either out of idealization or paying less attention to the real conditions," said Jiang Qianjin, well-known psychologist with Zhejiang University.

他还提到：“无法在同一城市共同生活的情侣由于距离的关系，对于另一半的性格、生活方式、以及父母的态度知之甚少，这就会给恋情埋下潜在隐患。”
"A couple that cannot live together in the same city will know less of their partner"s character, life styles, attitudes from their parents, as a result of the distance, which might turn out to be a potential hazard for the relationships," he added.

姜乾金表示，为了维持恋情，异地恋人需要步入婚姻殿堂。
Jiang said a process from long-distance romance to marriage was necessary to sustain the relationship.

“交往的态度与感觉至关重要。”
"It is the attitudes and feeling of person-to-person contact that makes a difference."

相关词汇

courtship 求爱期,追求期
 
hazard 危险
 
idealization 理想化
 
make a difference 很重要
 
persevere 坚持
 
solid 坚硬的
 
start a family 开始怀第一个孩子